I heard this great Polish joke!

I heard this great Polish joke!
Guy walks into a bar, sits down and tells the bartender “I heard this great Polish joke!”   The bartender cuts him off. “Listen, buddy,” he says sternly. “I’m Polish. See that big guy at the end of the bar? He’s Polish. And that even bigger guy sitting over there? He’s Polish too. Now, do ...

Most Famous English Joke

Most Famous English Joke
The English are fighting the Scots again. The English army is camped on a hill waiting for a deep fog to clear. Out of the fog comes a Scottish shout: “One Scotsman is worth two Englishmen” Many men volunteer and two of the biggest are selected. They advance down into the fog. Soon the sound ...

Full Chemical Analysis Of A Woman

Full Chemical Analysis Of A Woman
Substance: Woman Chemical System: Wo Manufacturer: God Typical Size: Average weight 115 lbs.; specimens can vary from 90 to over 200 lbs. Occurrence: Large quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: ——————– 1. Surface Tension–soft and warm. 2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced. 3. Boils at nothing. 4. Freezes without reason. 5. ...

You Caught My Eye

You Caught My Eye
A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining and put his hand out the window to check. As he did so a glass eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from in time to see a young woman looking down. “Is this yours?” he ...

What Situation Can Make You a Hypocrite?

What Situation Can Make You a Hypocrite?
Hypocrite 1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. 2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, especially one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public ...

And Then the Fight Started Jokes

And Then the Fight Started Jokes
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’ I said, ‘Dust.’ And then the fight started …   My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed.. I turned to her and said, “Do you ...

13 Great Truths About Life – For Children

13 Great Truths About Life - For Children
1. No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize cats. 2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. 3. If you sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4. Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato. 5. You can’t ...

Men’s Rules For Women – Rules That Make a Man

Men's Rules For Women - Rules That Make a Man
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect ...

World’s Best Lawyer Jokes Ever

World's Best Lawyer Jokes Ever
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer, you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and ...

HARRY POTTER QUIZ

HARRY POTTER QUIZ
What did Harry Potter do when he found the three-headed dog? He ran… wouldn’t you?